How to Help Your Kids Transition Back into School

How to Help Your Kids Transition Back into School
Photo: Sharomka (Shutterstock)

Transitioning kids back into the classroom after a three-month summer hiatus is often a challenge. Even the transition back to school after a couple of weeks off for winter break can send some kids into a tailspin. And now, as schools across the country plan to reopen, many families are facing the Mother of All Transitions—getting kids back into the classroom after a literal year at home.

Kids who have been learning on a hybrid schedule, coming into the classroom a couple of times a week, have a bit of an advantage here. They have, at least, spent some time at their desks, interacted in real life with their peers, and benefitted from some (masked) face-to-face time with their teachers. Getting up and out the door five days a week, instead of two, might not be easy for them, but it’s likely to be less jarring for them than it is for kids—particularly young kids—who have been learning entirely virtually.

For the kids who are about to finally leave home and go back into school (or, for kindergarteners, into school for the first time ever), parents have precious little time to get them as ready as possible for a total upheaval in the structure of their daily lives. But there are some things you can do now to start getting them ready.

Get them used to not being with you

One of the biggest changes for little kids transitioning back into school full-time is the sheer number of hours in a day that they’ll no longer be with you.

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“I think about it in terms of taking baby steps to the end goal, which is ultimately being in school full time away from your parents,” says Jodi Musoff, an educational specialist in the Learning and Development Center and for the School and Community Programs team at the Child Mind Institute. “To go from just being together with your family in your home all the time to then being outside of the home, on your own, at school is a big jump. So [consider] if there are ways that parents can allow their kids to spend time away from them.”

That might mean allowing some small playdates at a friend’s home or having a grandparent or other family member watch them for a few hours, keeping in mind everything we know about COVID-19 and taking the necessary safety precautions. Anything you can safely do right now to get them used to not being in your constant orbit will help come back-to-school time.

Gradually increase their social circle

One of the biggest things missing from a child’s life right now are all the social interactions they’d be having with friends and peers on a day-to-day basis at school. It will be an adjustment to re-learn how to behave in a group setting in which there is constant opportunities for sharing and taking turns and negotiating play. To the degree that it can be done as safely as possible, Musoff suggests parents start setting up playdates, first in small groups and then increasing from there.

“Are there ways that a child can have a one-on-one playdate, and then have a playdate with two kids,” she says—and keep increasing the size to include more kids as a way to ease them back into the habit of navigating social situations with multiple children.

Focus on structure

Depending on your individual situation, if a child is learning virtually right now, they probably have some kind of structure to their days. But chances are also good that you’ve made some concessions to make life easier on everyone—and understandably so. Now is the time, though, to start thinking about the type of structure your family will need to adhere to on regular school days.

That might mean waking up at a certain time, getting dressed (no more all-day pajamas, sob), and eating breakfast together before start your day. Or maybe right now, they’re able to choose the order in which they tackle their schoolwork; but once they’re back in the classroom, they’ll be beholden to the teacher’s schedule. So pushing them toward tackling least desirable tasks or assignments first could help them ease into that loss of control they’re about to experience.

Another idea: Musoff says her kids are on a hybrid schedule now, but when they went all-virtual last spring, she liked to take them outside for a walk right after breakfast. It was a way to get them some fresh air and simulate what would have been their daily walk to school.

“There’s [often] no great schedule or structure right now, so try to increase the amount of schedule and structure, so that it’s not so shocking for them—especially for kids who have difficulty transitioning,” she says. “We’re not really asking them to transition very much, so they haven’t been practicing those skills.”

You could even invite some of the kids in neighborhood to join you to increase the connection of walking to school or waiting for the bus and build. in some extra time socializing with other kids.

Try to build excitement

One of the best parts about starting a new school year, when things are normal, is the anticipation leading up to the first day‚ going shopping for new school clothes, picking out a new backpack or lunch box, and snagging all those fresh school supplies.

They probably don’t need new supplies or clothing right now, but consider choosing one new thing for them to pick out to help build some excitement about a return to in-person learning, especially if they appear to be nervous about it. A new lunch box—or even a few new masks with fun prints—can get them looking forward to going back.

That’s a lot to do—and probably not a whole lot of time to do it. But even if you can’t make all of this happen right now, picking one or two areas that you know are most likely to impact your particular child, will help. In the end, you know your kid and whether (or how) they’re likely to struggle with this transition.

And remember that, for better or worse, this is going to be a major transition for you, too. After a year of nearly constant time together, the separation is going to feel very disconcerting for everyone.

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