Photo: Dragana Gordic (Shutterstock)
“It’s just a joke” is a concise, expert way to gaslight people for their legitimate reactions to something that may (or may not) have been said in jest, but was not, in fact, funny to them. This juvenile way to “get out of” addressing the impact of things we say must be exterminated. Because—let’s be honest—if we have to say this, we likely already know the “joke” in question didn’t land. Instead of dismissing the other person’s feelings, start with a genuine, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that” and go from there.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of any of these discomfiting gems, feel free to calmly state, “Can you explain what you mean” or “This is making me uncomfortable. Perhaps we can talk about this at another time.”
