There are more than a two million people currently imprisoned in state or federal prisons and local jails in the United States, and you can correspond with all of them. A prison pen pal relationship can provide you with unique insights into people you might never meet in your day-to-day life and give you the opportunity to provide a someone in a desperate situation with much needed kindness and a sense of connection to the outside world. Or just make the time pass a little easier in the clink. Here’s how to make it happen, and make it happen safely.
How to find the address of anyone in prison
The names and sentences of incarcerated people are generally publicly available information in the United States, so if you know the name of a person incarcerated in a state or federal prison, you can easily get their mailing address.
The mailing address of people incarcerated in any federal prisons can be located by searching for them in the federal bureau of prison’s prisoner database. It should direct you to the institution where they are being held and give you their identification number—that’s all the info you need to send a letter.
If your would-be prison pen pal is in state prison, their information is kept in a state database. Here is a collection of links to all 50 state prisoner locator databases, from meet-an-inmate.com. Some state databases summarize and share the convictions and sentences of incarcerated people; some don’t.
If you are cold-writing a prisoner you don’t know, or a person from your past, don’t be surprised if you don’t get an answer. Maybe they want to be left alone.
To make sure your letter arrives, be sure to include the incarcerated person’s ID number along with their name and the address of the prison.
How to find a prison pen-pal through a prisoner-connection website
There are numerous online services designed to connect people on the outside with people in the jug. This is probably the best place to start if you want to write to incarcerated strangers, as they’re actually requesting letters and email for friendship or prison-romance. I like Meet-an-Inmate—it’s been around since 1998 and has the web-design to prove it, but it’s functional and fast.
If you’d rather take a more upscale, politically motivated approach, you can use Wire of Hope’s pen pal finding page, and for LGBTQ+ specific pen pals, check out Black and Pink. Both are linked by The Innocence Project, so I assume they’re legit.
This seems counter-intuitive, but before you start writing to an inmate listed on any website, make sure they’re actually incarcerated by checking the state or federal database—sometimes scammers find victims by pretending to be prisoners. Another scam: There are websites that offer to send messages to prisoners for a fee. Often all they’re doing is charging you a premium to mail a message you could have sent yourself.
Can I email a person in prison?
If you’re not into the old-school style of pen-and-paper pen-pallery, many incarcerated people have access to email. But like most everything involving prisons, it’s often expensive and can get complicated. Email access varies from state to state, institution to institution, and prisoner to prisoner. Some inmates can receive emails but not send them. Some have access to tablets or computers. It’s a crap-shoot. Usually, emailing a prisoner involves a third-party organization like J-Pay, a private company that provides “financial services” for prisoners and their families. The charge for messages varies depending on the state. Federal prisoners can use Corrlinks to send and receive email. There’s a cost, and I’m sure it’s a huge hassle, but what are you gonna do?
Why do you want to write to a prisoner anyway?
I’m not judging anyone’s motivation, but before you begin a relationship with a prisoner, you should judge your own motivations. Ask yourself what you’re trying to get out of this. Romance? Friendship? Do you just think serial killers are interesting because you’re a ghoul?
It’s probably a good idea to understand your own assumptions and biases about an incarcerated person before you write to them. You should consider the power imbalance between an incarcerated person and a free person. Promising to be someone’s pen-pal and not keeping up with the correspondence is no big deal if everyone is in the same situation, but if one person truly relies on letters, not getting around to buying stamps can become a big deal.
Things to keep in mind about sending mail to a prison
The things you write to a prisoner and the things they write to you can be read by authorities, unless it’s legal correspondence. In practice, every letter to and from every prison isn’t pored over by guards, but you should act as if it will be.
You can always expect that a letter will be inspected for contraband, so don’t send anything you shouldn’t. This includes:
Anything illegalStaples and paperclipsAnything that looks like a coded messagePhotos containing nudityDon’t spray your letters with perfume. It’s romantic, but frowned on by authoritiesA file baked in a cake. (This never actually works)Be cautious: Many people are incarcerated because they have done awful things
While there are plenty of people in prison for unjust reasons—wrongful convictions, youthful mistakes, unfair laws, etc.—there are also many of people in prison because they have done terrible things. So exercise caution. Use a post office box instead of giving out your address and phone number. Be on the look out for scams. The constitutionally guaranteed right to communicate with the outside world can be a double-edged sword: Stories of prisoners running various scams from their cells are depressingly common.
