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Many of us instinctually know that talking consistently to a baby or toddler is important for their development. But it may be even more important that we realize: As child development research shows, encouraging a child’s language development isn’t just about the number of words that they hear—it’s also about the back-and-forth interactions between a child and their caregiver.
“Twenty to thirty years ago, there was this sense that it’s just about the number of words that children hear,” said Rebeca Parlakian, a child development expert with the nonprofit organization Zero to Three. “But in reality, babies and toddlers don’t learn language from lectures; they learn language when we have engaging, responsive interactions with them.”
How interaction helps babies build language
Even with a baby, responding to their coo’s and gurgles with language, such as “Are you a hungry boy?” is part of how they start learning language. When they get a little older, it’s the back-and-forth nature of language, where a toddler might say, “What’s that?” with their parent responding, “That’s a doggy!” that is really laying the foundation for learning language.
“Children learn language best when they are in a relationship with someone who is responding with them and engaging with them,” Parlakian said.
When your toddler asks what something is, in addition to answering their question, it’s helpful to give additional information—that helps to answer questions they are unable to verbalize. “Toddlers run out of language at that point because they don’t have the vocabulary,” Parlakian said.
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So if you continue by saying something like, “Oh look, the doggy is sniffing the tree,” this extends the conversation past the initial question of “what’s that?” and helps answer some of their nonverbal communications of “what is going on?”
“When we are talking about birth to three year olds, the majority of the way they communicate, at least up until age two, is through gestures, facial expressions, and vocalizations, but not necessarily words,” Parlakian said. “It’s a lot of noticing, responding to cues, and using language to label, narrate, and respond to what our children are interested in.”
Use descriptive language
Most of our interactions with our kids tend to use very utilitarian language, such as “Did you pick up your toys?” or “Are you hungry?” While those are certainly important, parents should also be cognizant of introducing new vocabulary words. During a child’s early days, it’s good to try to be as descriptive as possible as you talk about your surroundings. As you talk a walk through the neighborhood, you might point out a cat’s fluffy fur, the tall sunflowers, or the puffy white clouds in the sky.
Another good way to introduce language you might not otherwise use in your everyday life is to read books with your kids. We may not talk about pirates who need to listen, or very hungry caterpillars, or little engine that could on a regular basis, so books provide an opportunity to expand their vocabulary.
“Book sharing, singing, doing rhymes, all of these experiences are exposing children to unique vocabulary words,” Parlakian said. “Books, in particular, use a lot of words that we don’t use in everyday speech.”
“Baby talk” is a natural instinct we should embrace
The natural instinct, when talking to a baby or toddler, is to use what researchers call “parentese,” which is characterized by elongated syllables and emphasis on key words. As Parlakian points out, this is an instinct that is found the world over, and one that parents should embrace. “Pretty much every culture uses a form of parentese,” Parlakian said. “It seems to be something unconscious.”
There is evidence to show that using parentese can help with a child’s language development, and that the more back-and-forth interactions a parent has, especially in those very early months and years, the better. For parents who are worried that their baby talk might not be age-appropriate—we actually instinctually adjust that, too.
“Parents quite unconsciously tend to use parentese, and quite unconsciously, tend to adjust their language as their child grows,” Parlakian said. In other words, as children grow older, parents tend to modify their use of parentese, adjusting to fit their child’s needs, without consciously doing so.
“As our children’s language grows and becomes more complex, we adults, as their caregivers, we unconsciously match the complexity of their language,” Parlakian said.
