Photo: LightField Studios (Shutterstock)
It’s that time of year again, when we buy a small GDP’s worth of school supplies, prepare our kids’ backpacks, wave them off at the bus stop, and breathe a sigh of relief that school is back in session. And then, as we work in blissful silence, watch in horror as the school WhatsApp chat notifications roll in.
“Roll” is a generous term, though. More like pour...like you may need an Ark to protect your belongings during the deluge. And while parents’ WhatsApp group chats for school can be a quick, useful way to disseminate information, they can also be long-winded, unproductive, off-topic chains of irrelevancy.
Whether it’s organized by class or (dear lord) by the entire grade, after you join, you’re bound to endure tangents, head-scratching questions, and wild comments mixed in with the spritz of helpful information. To make it more pleasant and tolerable for everyone, we present these Unspoken Guidelines of School Group Chat Etiquette.
Please don’t have one-on-one conversations
Remember, this is a group chat—for questions and information about school that can benefit everyone. If you need to find out what equipment little Johnny needs for T-ball, or want to ask Audrey’s mom which teacher she has this year, just take it offline. The entire group doesn’t need to be included in personal conversations, especially ones unrelated to the purpose of the chat.
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Don’t threadjack and cause unnecessary debates
If a parent asks whether middle schoolers need to bring snack, and another parent says, “some teachers will let them,” and then another helpfully adds, “Well when my son was there he wasn’t allowed to,” to which the original parents replies, “I’ll pack one in just in case,” and then someone says, “Well I don’t think they should let them have snacks during COVID,” and within five minutes the innocent snack question has become a heated debate about whether kids should be allowed to go to school unvaccinated? Yeah. Don’t do that. Stick to the original topic, Betty. (You too, Burt.)
Save your personal photos for Instagram
Perhaps this was done in error. Perhaps they did not actually mean to post pictures of their kids holding the leashes of their two dogs with zero context, caption, or reason. Perhaps it was meant for another chat? Yes. It must have been. Because there is no other plausible explanation for why random Shih Tzus appeared in the 4th grade group chat.
Avoid spamming the chat
If someone posts that the individual contribution to the class gift will be $10, please refrain from being the 18th person to reply with “OK.” Likewise, before posing a question, take a look through the chat history to see if it’s already been answered (tap the group name and select the orange magnifying class icon for “Chat Search.”)
Also avoid: text-bombing. Keep posts short and few (Three-in-a-row? Please, no.) Proofread before sending; try to shave extra words and make it more concise. Only ask one question at a time. Any more than that, and the thread is liable to get confusing while questions go unanswered.
Limit the complaints and arguments
If you think your daughter’s classroom is too cold and would like to know who to contact about the problem, there are a couple of options, none of which involve 20-200 other people. Try calling the school office, googling the district’s Facilities department, or pack a sweater.
Similarly, gripes about wanting more lunch choices, math classes, different sports, or how you’d never get your child a phone at this age have no place in the group chat. Some of us are just here to find out if busses are running late and when the Halloween party is.
Avoid posting questionable content
Look, memes and memes alone got us through the entirety of 2020. As entertaining as they may be, they’re not meant for pseudo-professional group chats. Anything we may feel compelled to send purely because we think it’s funny should be re-directed to a friend. Same goes for unvetted chain mail warning of scammers on the loose.
Don’t over-answer questions
If a question has been adequately answered already, and there is no more value that can be added with another response, no matter how much we may want to say how we did that thing, it’s not necessary. It’s really not. Take that roiling energy to Facebook.
Don’t ask questions you can easily Google for yourself
We realize this is subjective, and one person’s “dumb question” is another person’s, “I was wondering the same thing.” But can we all agree that asking whether free lunch is $2.45 or $2.50 and when the first day of school is—when it’s the following day—is not smart? Honey, that is what district websites and your friends are for. Do not put this inquiry into a group chat with dozens, if not hundreds of parents you don’t know. Similarly, unless there is a global Amazon, Target, and Staples shortage, asking, “Where can I find composition notebooks?” is really just better left unasked—for your own sake.
