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If you’ve been in a job for a while without moving to the next level—despite your boss’s many promises of an eventual promotion—you may start to feel as though you are actually being strung along. Maybe your boss simply wants to drag more work out of you with the promise of a (non-existent) reward; or maybe they aren’t actually capable of following through on a promotion and they don’t want to admit it.
“It’s often not malicious,” said Amy Gallo, a career coach and author of the book Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People). Instead, it might be that your boss is conflict-averse, is having trouble navigating bureaucracy, doesn’t have a clear grasp of what the next steps are, or doesn’t have the ability to make it happen or any number of other reasons. However, even if their intentions aren’t malicious, “this can lead you to stay in a situation that is ultimately not what you want,” Gallo said.
But how can you tell if that promised promotion is unlikely to ever happen?
Vague promises vs. a specific promotion timeline
If your boss’s promises are very vague, there’s a good chance they are telling you what you want to hear, rather than formulating a specific timeline or plan to make it happen. However, “we can get so focused on the outcome that we can forget our own judgment of what we know about their pattern of past behavior,” Gallo said.
If your boss isn’t being specific about what promotion they have in mind or the exact steps that will get you there, it’s probably not going to happen any time soon, if at all.
“The boss has to be ready to pay the price to promote you,” said Daphne Jones, a career breakthrough coach and author of the book Win When They Say You Won’t: Break Through Barriers and Keep Leveling Up Your Success. Your boss will need to do quite a bit of work on your behalf to get you that promotion, which means that if they aren’t talking specifics, it’s likely just talk and nothing more. Their intentions may be good, but that’s not enough.
Consider your boss’s pattern of behavior
Reflect on your boss’s overall pattern of behavior because, as Jones said, “The behaviors never lie.”
If your boss is responsive, engaged, and can be counted on to honor their promises, they probably mean what they say. They may not be the person who can make the final decision about a promotion, but they can offer advice about what you need to do and how to do it.
If your boss is overwhelmed, but seems to respond to nudges, this might indicate that they mean well, but in order for a promotion to become reality, you will need to take a more active role in advocating for yourself. Sometimes that can be as simple as openly stating to your boss what you want your next career steps to be and asking for a specific plan to get there. “It is our job to make ourselves promotable and to communicate what our desires are,” Jones said.
A major warning sign is when your boss is actively encouraging you to take on additional responsibilities that may be above your current position, while also being vague about what exactly this might lead to and when. If this is the case, then “they’re a user,” Jones said. This is the kind of boss that is very happy to have you work hard, often at a level that is above your current position, only to have no intention of getting you that promotion.
Set a time limit
A good strategy for dealing with a stagnant work situation is to set a time limit, after which you will resort to the next steps, which could include reaching out to your network, brushing up your resume or starting a formal job hunt. The major advantage of a time limit is that “you restore your sense of control, which helps with the stress this situation causes,” Gallo said.
Whatever you do, don’t despair or give up, as that can make a bad situation worse. “You want to stay calm and execute,” Jones said. “Don’t take this personally; take it strategically.”
Your experience with your boss may be a one-off incident, an example of a bad egg in an otherwise good company, or it could be a sign of a toxic company culture. Whatever the case, you want to be able to get out of the situation in a way that can still let you move forward with your goals.
