The protein influencers on TikTok are at it again, trying to force cottage cheese into a role it never asked for in the first place. They’ve moved on from cottage cheese ice cream, and have set their sights on “protein cookie dough,” made from cottage cheese, protein powder, and almond flour.
Some of the (sometimes jarringly loud) TikTok videos claim the concoction tastes “exactly like cookie dough.” That’s not true, but if you hadn’t tasted real cookie dough in a long time, you might think that it does. It tastes like a “healthy” person’s idea of a treat, like the black bean brownie, or something my mom would have tried to feed me in the mid-90s (only her version would have been made with carob). It’s cookie dough for jocks.
It does not, however, taste bad. In addition to the cottage cheese, protein powder, and almond flour, there’s maple syrup, vanilla extract, and chocolate chips. Those ingredients pull the mixture towards the realm of cookie dough, but a few factors keep it from being “exact.”
The main issue is the mouthfeel. The almond flour is pretty gritty, even when added in small amounts, and stirred after each addition. It’s also not as solid as cookie dough; it’s more like brownie batter, which is less fun to chomp on than cookie dough. (That’s more of a “lick the bowl” situation.) It also doesn’t have any butter in it, and you can tell.
Should you make a bowl of cottage cheese “cookie dough”?
That all depends. It is worth noting that the recipe’s creator, Jake Cohen, does not claim cottage cheese cookie dough tastes identical to the real thing. Jake starts his video by saying he is “honestly ashamed” to share this recipe, but he’s “kind of obsessed.”
Based on Cohen’s torso (which you can see in a few of his other videos), it’s safe to say he’s a bit of jock. I am also a bit of a (reluctant) jock. The thing about jocks is that most of us are obsessed with getting enough protein, and when you shift into jock mode, you try and sneak extra protein in everything you eat, no matter the meal, time of day, or flavor profile. (I have been known to add protein powder to milkshakes.)
There is nothing wrong with that, and there is nothing wrong with making a bowl of something that tastes like a better version of the filling in a cookie dough-flavored protein bar. Fashioning protein powder into dessert is fine if it makes hitting your macro goals a little easier, or helps you fight cravings you may be trying to avoid indulging, but TikTok and the like rarely allow for nuanced framing. Instead of “this protein stuff tastes kinda like cookie dough” you get “OH MY GOD this tastes EXACTLY like cookie dough,” which primes the pump for discourse, backlash, and everything else that drives clicks and engagement on the internet.
How to make cottage cheese cookie dough better
There are a few things one can do to make cottage cheese cookie dough taste and feel more like the real thing. First, add more maple syrup, along with a pinch of salt. Syrup will make it sweeter (obviously), and raw cookie dough always has a sodium bite, both from added salt and any leavening agents.
Jock cookie dough supplies:
Chilling the “dough” also does wonders for it. It firms it up, and gives the almond flour a little more time to absorb excess moisture, which makes it feel a little less gritty on the teeth (though it is still a little gritty). Oh, and don’t skimp on the chocolate chips.
With these modifications, this mixture of high-protein ingredients tastes like a treat you’d find in a neat little plastic tub at Whole Foods, marketed to gym-going moms as a protein-packed alternative to the “bad” cookie dough. Once chilled, I ate a fair amount of it. It didn’t taste exactly like cookie dough, but it was pretty close, and a pleasant way to hit my goal of 90 grams of protein per day.
Cookie Dough for Jocks
Ingredients:
8 ounces cottage cheese3 tablespoons maple syrup1 teaspoon vanilla extract2 big pinches of salt1/4 cup vanilla protein powder1 cup almond flour1/2-3/4 cup chocolate chips
Blend the first four ingredients together until completely smooth. Stir in the protein powder, then the almond flour, a few spoonfuls at a time, stirring after each addition to get the dough as smooth as possible. Fold in chocolate chips, transfer to an airtight container, and chill for a few hours before eating.
