Photo: Thitiwat Thapanakriengkai (Shutterstock)
The ever-volatile cryptocurrency is currently experiencing some of its patented volatility. Bitcoin has reached a ten-month low, falling below $33,000 for the first time since July of 2021, down 50% from its peak price. As of this writing, the price of one Bitcoin is hovering around $30,000—but even at half of its previous value, that’s still a lot of scratch. Here’s a list of ideas on how to spend your Bitcoin, should you have a full one burning a hole in your pocket.
A souped-up 2022 Honda Accord. A 2022 Honda Accord has an MSRP (manufacturer’s suggested retail price for the non-car savvy among us) of $26,120. Leaving just under $4,000 for upgrades, with one Bitcoin you can buy yourself one of the most reliable midsize sedans equipped with chrome wheels, parking sensors, and a wireless phone charger, should you so choose.
Two Cameos from boxing legend Floyd Mayweather. Ever since Cameo burst onto the scene in 2016, over 30,000 celebrities have joined the platform to send personalized videos to fans. The website’s most expensive celebrity for personal videos is Floyd Mayweather, who charges a cool $15,000 per message. With one Bitcoin, you can ask Floyd Mayweather to say whatever your heart desires, with enough buffer for a mulligan if you don’t like what you chose the first time.
One semester of tuition at NYU. If you’re impressionable like me, you saw Greta Gerwig’s Ladybird and thought, “hmm, maybe I should go to NYU.” If you have one Bitcoin on your person, that’s enough capital to cash in exactly one semester’s worth of tuition at one of America’s most expensive universities. Bear in mind, if you plan to board at the university for this semester, you’re going to need another Bitcoin.
A hefty kitchen remodel. A new set of appliances? Go for it. Granite countertops? Why not! In reality, a kitchen remodel can cost as much as you want it to cost, but it’s safe to say for the price of one Bitcoin, you can treat yourself to an updated kitchen.
250 years of a Planet Fitness membership. If getting in shape was one of your 2022 resolutions, you still have time. And if you have a Bitcoin you’re looking to get rid of, you can even cash it in for 3,000 months worth of a Planet Fitness $10 per month membership. They may even give you a discount if you tell them you’re willing to commit to a quarter-millenium contract.
Finance a sequel to the documentary Catfish. In 2010, Nev Schulman burst onto the scene with his documentary film about people who create fake social network presences to fool people while online dating. This cult classic cost only $30,000 to produce, so should you be able to convince everyone to come back for a sequel at their exact same pay rate, you too can be the producer of a well-regarded, gripping documentary.
VIP tickets to see Olivia Rodrigo with nine of your closest friends. You’re not impervious to a certified bop. I’m sure ever since the Sour tour was announced, you’ve been glancing at Stubhub to see how much it’d cost you to see America’s sweetheart with nine of your closest pals. Turns out with a going rate of $3,000 per VIP ticket, the answer is one measly Bitcoin.
A Cartier engagement ring. Ready to show that special person in your life that they’re the one for you? Go ahead and trade your Bitcoin for this Cartier engagement ring. Conversely, should you decide to eschew a ring, the cost of one Bitcoin just so happens to be about the average cost of a wedding.
A new 2022 Coachman RV Apex Nano 185BH. If you’re the outdoorsy-type, I’m sure you’ve had your eye on the 2022 Coachman RV Apex Nano for a while now. Not only can this bad boy comfortably sleep five, it also comes equipped with a microwave and a two-burner cooktop. For just one Bitcoin, you can travel in style while you roadtrip to one of America’s least visited states.
